Grateful

Today I'm reflecting on several things. This time of year is really rough for me. It's seems it's gotten tougher and tougher over the years. This is when my mom kicked me out when I was 10... This is when one of the men I respected sooo much... Died... When my grandmother Died... Which I found out 10 days later than everyone else... I don't have anything that really resembles a  family... I've never really had a closeness to anyone like a parent or sibling... That all changes especially with the addition of marriage and children... But the conditioning I went through in my adolescence has always made me keep people at bay... All that changed one cold night... I'd had a severe anaphylactic crisis... Was extremely inebriated... And almost died... I've told a handful of people the details... But my body is extremely high maintenance... And I push it to its limits... I'm usually always exhausted or in pain... But I manage and stay busy... People think I'm lying when I tell them I was in the emergency room... Yeah I almost died last night... Because I didn't make it to their job or hang a ceiling fan... Forreal!!! So these are pics from three different reactions... 

One was in the emergency room... The other I'm at home... Having Brandy pray over me... And the third is the donor graft site... The adhesive for the bandages (or tegaderm)... I was allergic to... They said it would take about two weeks to heal... It took 12 weeks to heal... And that was after spending hundreds of dollars on these bandages that were hurting me... I eventually just quit wearing anything so the wound would be stuck to the inside of my jeans... I would be crawling through attics ready to cry... But I'm a straight up G... I don't ever cry...So anyway something happened in the emergency room... I had a conversation with God... Several witnessed a miracle that night... The doctor even came in later and told me I didn't think you were going to make it... During the conversation I saw a vision... And I have wrestled with it... Ironically my hip has been hurting the more I resist... But I saw a vision... Right in front of me... It was the second one I'd had the first one I was 17... I thought I was going crazy... I've grown use to them now... I don't even tell people most of them... Most of them I don't write down either... I keep em in this head of mine... No paper trail... Haha see no one will kill you if you can prove you are a resourceful servant... If you're worth more alive then dead... Some people aren't like that they are a drain on everything around them...

Me I'd rather shine like a light... I prefer to smile as to frown... And I embrace relationships instead of tangibles...

#static

Matter of fact

Water comes in three forms as we all know. 

Solid. 

liquid

gas

We don't give much thought to the fact that all water has the same ability. Every ocean

river

lake

pond 

gallon

drop

molecule

can either be liquid and heated to become water vapor...

Now is it really gas? What magic happened right before your eyes as you see water reach 100° 

and begin to

what we call evaporate?

Did it no longer exist to be water now?

but what happened?

If you run your hand through vapor it will get wet... 

Stick it in a bucket of water it will get wet

Now stick your hand in a plastic bag and then stick it in a bucket of water. 

You just experienced atmospheric pressure. We call that one earth atmosphere. That's the inward pressure of gravity pulling all the water molecules around your plastic encased hand. But your hand is made of water and the water just reconnects when you stick your hand in the bucket without a plastic bag. Pull your hand out and it's wet.

So gas liquid solid. 

Or it can be liquid and have heat removed and become solid. 

Ice is water in solid form. 

Ice is magnetic. 

Ice is conductive. 

Ice is also an insulator. 

Now think back to 4th grade science. 

Molecules bounce around in a gas and slow down as a liquid and barely move as a solid. We tend to think bounce around means no path just chaotic. 

It is a designed path 

What travels down this path?

that is light "traveling"*

 in a helix around the molecules 

Some people see light as 2 or 3 dimensionally. 

2d is like drawing a line up and down

This is a light wavelength 

3D is capable in your mind look at the same professional drawing above and now see the straight line in the middle being wrapped with the other line. 

Like a spring. This is how everything in the universe travels. Ever wonder why everything is round when you look up? How about when you get lightheaded and see stars? Round stars right!?

Now look at the amazing drawing I made above 1 last time. And encircle the straight line clockwise and counterclockwise. And see the infinite ways you can speed up or slow down the waves by squeezing or pulling them.

 

Think about your DNA it's built on the same platform. 

the more there are the tighter the path the more gravity comes into play because you add mass you add gravity. 

So solid liquid and gas 

One drop of water can be all three at any given moment.

 Now remove light from the equation. 

How can you experience water without light?

You can't. Light is everything. It's just how much will be reflected. Water can reflect at any of these stages as well. A mirage in the desert. There are reflective properties in water and ice. But you have to have light. Light is heat. No heat no vapor. No heat no liquid. No heat no ice. 

(I have a theory about super ice...)

Light and water. The two poles of the helix. 

Now add salt. 

Add salt to water and now you've changed its properties. 

Salt water will hold an electric charge. 

Salt in water adds to waters displacement value.  

Add salt to ice and it will cause the molecules to separate or thaw. 

But salt won't vaporize with water. Otherwise we would have salty rain. There wouldn't be any fresh water on planet earth.

Salt is invasive. 

Salt is the variable. 

Salt is the rungs that connect the helix. 

So 

light salt and water. 

Liquid solid gas

That's as simple as it gets. 

Light is everywhere. 

It composes everything. 

In order to have life you have to have water.  

So what is the salt? Life

All three intertwined. 

The human body is a perfect example. 

When we take in water we flush out salt. Through urine sweat blood mucus feces

When we get light we are energized. We eat salt it absorbs water we gain weight. It's fascinating. But water does not change whether it is solid liquid or gas. Only our perception of it changes from our circumstances. 

*I do not believe light travels. Not in the same sense we use the word travel from point a to point b. It exists. It travels instantly. Instantly doesn't line up with time. Lightspeed is an oxymoron. Einstein knew you couldn't go faster than the speed of light. He couldn't grasp it as many other scientist can't. It's a bolt of lightning not going away. There is no off switch. Which means there was no on switch. So no beginning and no end. Constant power. Static. See if light travelled to a room wouldn't it stay there? If water travels to a tub it stays right? I can add heat to a room... I can add gas to a room...Why doesn't light stay in a dark room? Because it has to have a path to follow (water) and has to be maintained (salt)

So what is my point? Water is water. We just call it different things because scientists told us to. Because you would be correct in calling ice...cold water and vapor...hot water. 

Solid...

liquid...

gas...

same thing they told us what to think. Fish breathe oxygen and so do we. But we breathe it differently. But it's still just oxygen. 

Selah

A world in Flux and someone instructed to balance it

I never thought I would have a friend tell me my family reminded him of the Cosby family. One of the greatest compliments I've ever received. Growing up no one ever told me how it was really going to be like to be a man. I was shown by a few. But lied to by many. Because they didn't even know. I had to see with my own two eyes. I don't trust anybody. You tell me the elevators on its way I still will push the button. I don't care. It's automatic for me. 

There are several who grew up like me with no solidconsistentalwaystherenomatterwhatIloveyoumychildI'mgoingtoalwaysbeherefather figure...well....it can create a life of inconsistency. The fathers role is so important. Hitler had great power in just saying that Germany was the fatherland. Fathers are important. Consistency is important. Self worth is important. No matter the color...Everyman feels good after a hard days work. After following a set of plans building something. Some use their hands some use their minds. Some use both. Tradesmen use both. Tradesmen used to be looked at with honor. Then the money came in the 80's....all this credit....all these drugs...all these amenities...readily available. Get it today pay for it tomorrow. People have sold their souls for a leather couch haha

It's time to reset. There's a lot of work that needs to be done. It takes someone with a great vision to make great things happen. I have so many great things I'm going to be a part of materializing. It's nice to be on a winning team. iWork with my two best friends. iWork in an industry that's very profitable. So wouldn't you think someone like me would be part of forming an electrical conglomerate? Hahaha

I'm about to put a stranglehold on the market. 

I'm just playing. 

No I'm not.

I'm dead serious. 

If you're willing to learn it's going to be a lot cheaper. 

You think it's expensive now.

(Insert evil laughter)

That's where it's going to start. Then capital will be added to our coffers and we can fund research and development. This is key!!! Innovation comes from tinkerers. I tinker in my mind.

 (I've built houses...cars...mag lev systems...solar panel fields...neighborhood backup generators...water filtration systems...a superhighway transit system in space...all in my head I'm going to blog on this 

Above Standard Living 

A way of light.)  

We will be able to pay livable wages to manufacture innovations. Allowing the research and development to go out on the production floor. Something that's not possible with plant jobs being moved over seas. You have to have a plentiful labor force in order to grow. Every company is multilevel. There's always going to be a few at the top. You work hard you climb the pyramid. Nothing is handed. Bringing pride back to men. Putting men to work instead of locking them up is all a community needs in order to thrive. As long as a man takes care of his home. Neighbors will take care of their community. The community takes care of the city and so on and so on. Electricity though... Why electricity? Because it's light. We are told to spread light. I just realized what the proverbial cryptic writing on the wall was and what it meant. No matter what is going on electricity is required going forward. The minute we lose social media. We aren't going to know how to act. It's going to happen. One day you will pick up that phone and it's going to say no signal. You better pray you made the right decision. And somebody comes and knocks on your door... Instead of kicking it in. 

Think about if an electrical substation gets taken out in a neighborhood. Or 10 neighborhoods. Simultaneously around the country. All at the same time. There are too many afraid to work on electricity. And so many that would die not knowing its potential. If you couldn't provide power...those neighborhoods are down for 48 hours minimum...most cell phones are down within 24 hours. Then you're forced to charge your phone in the car. But what if it takes longer? What if it's bigger? No power for two weeks. Even water is out. Destroying the electric grid....You'd be a fool to do that and have no back up plan. No direct current capabilities.... No solar panels... No batteries.... You might've killed yourself and your family. 

Yeah. Electricity. I'm about to bring back empowerment to a lot of men. And help a lot of people become self employed. As I've said. I will tell anyone I know what I know. If they ask me. Well for the most part... I ain't telling you where I lay my head. Believe that!!! Haha #static

Frustration

Begin rant...One of the dumbest things I see people that have money do is...spend a ridiculous amount of money renting a house. And then get sued for not paying their rent. I mean 100s of thousands of dollars. When they could buy a modest house and invest and flip their money. Then buy an even nicer house. And play with the other money. People go bankrupt for a bunch of reasons and they have nothing to worry about. Their debts are just forgiven. That's just legal theft. If you don't have the money to pay back and especially if you have no intention of paying it... You should go to jail. Be a lot less people filing bankruptcy if their ass had to go to jail. Especially when you're one of the people they owe money too. I'd like to punch them in the face for every dollar. My hand...wrist... and all my fingers would be broke and I'd probably have a fractured elbow and dislocated shoulder. Another thing that pisses me off is people being able to file frivolous lawsuits and then Drs and other professionals getting screwed having to pay for all this malpractice insurance that makes them have to raise their rates and all kinds of other stuff. Their ass needs to go to jail to. Sit your ass still for about a week. And look all around you... all these people contributed tax dollars on your behalf to go inside a court building that has lights...heat and air ... Tax paid officers of the court...bailiffs ...judges...and then people even have to take off work. To serve jury duty... And you crying cause some coffee burned you!? Mannnnnnnn McDonalds could give me $500 and I would punch that old lady in the throat. With my ski mask on... I'd take out some frustration in that punch.  If she's still alive. I'd like to punch a bunch of people in the throat. Not to be mean. Not at all. All love. It's all in love. Your mama didn't spank you??? Well this is how it happens when you get grown. Throat punch... Followed by laughter followed by someone running off coughing cause they slurped some spit back down their throat as they got up off the ground because they were rolling on the ground laughing so hard at the person they just punched rolling on the ground gasping and asking why???? 

One day I'm going to snap. But it's going to be when I'm an old man. Because then people won't know what to do. I'm just going to call younger men sonny and have some sob story like look I don't know what I'm doing I'm sorry. And then when they drop their guard it's a wrap. I'm bouncing! I'm going to be an old man that's a fugitive on the run. Just be reports of a "serial throat puncher" with a real sweet picture of me with my family in the background on the 6:00 news.  Then some surveillance video footage of me getting my stinkmeaner on in somebody's parking lot. Don't think I'm playing either. I'm practicing my kill bill 3" punch. Be able to crush somebody's larynx. And I'm running too. So I have to have enough wind... In order to laugh... That's one of my fears... Choking on spit while I'm running away... I want a clean getaway... But I've got to be laughing. This is important. The laughter is an intricate part of the whole plan. I've got plenty of time to plan though. At least 25 years. 60 years of life... I won't be too old to not get away. I just want 2 steps and you ain't catching me. Some people want money some people want fame. I want a flawless crime...but it's for other people. Unless they pay me a lot of money then it's how greedy do I want to be. End rant...

#static

100 years in the making

100 year capacity...

What our bodies are able to sustain. 

That's a very generous estimate on what the average human could expect to live. I would say the first 30-35 years are developmental years. So 65-70 years we will be who we are. I don't believe too many are going to deviate from their habits... beliefs... norms... Growing up I always wanted a relationship with God. I didn't grow up in church so I was extremely critical and hateful to church folks. I made fun of them and would challenge them to answer questions I knew they couldn't answer just out of spite. The crazy thing is that a lot of my friends were preachers kids and some still are. (I'm married to one haha)

But as an adult what are most people focused on? Most people have lost their passion the cares and battles of life have worn them thin. And yet they have so much time on their hands. The scary thing is there are so many people putting things off till tomorrow. I'll go to church one day. I'll spend time with the kids one day. I'll do a date night one day. I'll eat healthier... I'll exercise... I'll get on a budget... I'll quit abusing ____... I would say 99% of the people in the cemetery had that same thought process. You get set in your ways and then procrastination takes precedence over change. I think one major factor attributed to this... People who say I'm getting old... Old is a state of mind...Ray Kroc said it best...As long as you're green, you're growing. As soon as you're ripe, you start to rot... I will forever be green...always growing... Always with a young state of mind. People will go to work and hate their jobs. Hate the people they work with. Hate the car they drive. Hate the house they live in. And always complain about how tired they are. And how their life is so much harder than everyone else's. They look forward to the weekend as if some time away is really the answer. I don't argue or try to change their mind. I'm so past trying to convince people who don't want to listen. Because the minute you start trying to explain to someone what they can do. They come with another complaint. Time will tell but I guarantee you those same people are going to look older than their true age 10 years from now. That's if they are still alive. Stress kills. And then you have people running around creating fear about dying. You need to get tested for this or this. Make sure you have this vaccine. (That's a whole other can of worms though.) But the people you meet who have a great attitude and smile and love their life I'm convinced will live long lives. Because they have a different outlook. A youthful outlook. Optimism that didn't get robbed from their adolescence. There's only so much time we have here. 100 years... What can you squeeze into a hundred years? How many books can you read? How many degrees can you get? How many dollars can you earn? How many hours can you...watch TV? play video games? edit social media posts? take selfies? workout in the gym? sit at a bar? stare at porn?  How many people can you...hook up with? step over? humiliate? look down on? use? abuse? lie to? cheat? There's always someone who will claim to be an expert. That's nonsense. There is no such thing as an expert. There are people who are knowledgable. George Washington Carver dedicated his life to studying nature and he made new discoveries until the day he died. Even if you are able to read everything you can on a subject you still won't reach a point where you know it all. With the movement of science supporting so many theories it is now impossible to become an expert. All you have to do is come up with a theory that disproves another theory that's based on another theory based on a law based on another theory. 

Call me stupid...short-sighted...a bible-thumper...or whatever...but I would rather the main focal point of my life be studying the holy scriptures and seeking God in every facet of my life. 

I've learned recently a different way of looking at negative situations. For example not getting paid. For several reasons there have been times where I might not get paid for my work. This is extremely frustrating. Because I know how to collect money. I did it way before I had a business or real job. But I operate within the realms of the law. But a few times I just could not get the people to cooperate or I felt compelled to finish the job I had started. Knowing full well that I was losing money. I see it so differently now. I did some charity work. I've written off a lot of things as charity work. Because all my works I work as if God is my master. And he keeps a record. The money I didn't receive then was seed for a later harvest. Now I'm 35 years into my life and I've grasped that. It's a perspective I'll probably have for the remainder of my life. It will keep me from being bitter. It will keep me young. Of course I've learned the legal means to get paid along the way. Doing is the best teacher for me. I can read about something over and over its me doing something that allows me to grasp it. Having a customer sign a contract is me doing. So I no longer perform charity work unless I choose to. I don't feel 35 I still feel like a kid. And I think I always will. Because 100 years...well that's a pretty short time compared to eternity...and I don't want to grow old. 

#static

The Good Life

I refuse to live anything less than the good life. I've grown up in a struggle with an enormous amount of resistance. Not always but a lot. I feel prepared for anything that I may now face. I'm not settling for anything less than the best. I live a life of victory. I had a revelation today. That anytime you put your faith in another man/woman they will eventually let you down. It's inevitable and if it seems that they don't there are some things that you just might not be aware of. Never look to another person to encourage, motivate, congratulate, provide or comfort you. Because if you're not doing that for yourself you will get caught up by the individual that makes you "feel" any one of those self surviving aspects of your life, and are exposing yourself to limitless frustration. There's nothing wrong with having those people but those are just like revs to an engine while sitting still. You have to be the driving force. You have to start the car put it in gear foot to the floor hands on the wheel and know you're not going to crash. Know that you can handle yourself and even though fear may creep in it is silenced by your courage. Everyone will always tell you how hard life is or will forever be. Don't agree. Don't accept that. It's a lie. Reject the status quo. Reject those who have limited or governed you. Embrace your spirits desire to be fully encompassed with joy. Work hard for your achievements. Be the best you can be. Because when you are on the worlds stage you should be your number 1 fan. Or it's all for nothing.