Grateful

Today I'm reflecting on several things. This time of year is really rough for me. It's seems it's gotten tougher and tougher over the years. This is when my mom kicked me out when I was 10... This is when one of the men I respected sooo much... Died... When my grandmother Died... Which I found out 10 days later than everyone else... I don't have anything that really resembles a  family... I've never really had a closeness to anyone like a parent or sibling... That all changes especially with the addition of marriage and children... But the conditioning I went through in my adolescence has always made me keep people at bay... All that changed one cold night... I'd had a severe anaphylactic crisis... Was extremely inebriated... And almost died... I've told a handful of people the details... But my body is extremely high maintenance... And I push it to its limits... I'm usually always exhausted or in pain... But I manage and stay busy... People think I'm lying when I tell them I was in the emergency room... Yeah I almost died last night... Because I didn't make it to their job or hang a ceiling fan... Forreal!!! So these are pics from three different reactions... 

One was in the emergency room... The other I'm at home... Having Brandy pray over me... And the third is the donor graft site... The adhesive for the bandages (or tegaderm)... I was allergic to... They said it would take about two weeks to heal... It took 12 weeks to heal... And that was after spending hundreds of dollars on these bandages that were hurting me... I eventually just quit wearing anything so the wound would be stuck to the inside of my jeans... I would be crawling through attics ready to cry... But I'm a straight up G... I don't ever cry...So anyway something happened in the emergency room... I had a conversation with God... Several witnessed a miracle that night... The doctor even came in later and told me I didn't think you were going to make it... During the conversation I saw a vision... And I have wrestled with it... Ironically my hip has been hurting the more I resist... But I saw a vision... Right in front of me... It was the second one I'd had the first one I was 17... I thought I was going crazy... I've grown use to them now... I don't even tell people most of them... Most of them I don't write down either... I keep em in this head of mine... No paper trail... Haha see no one will kill you if you can prove you are a resourceful servant... If you're worth more alive then dead... Some people aren't like that they are a drain on everything around them...

Me I'd rather shine like a light... I prefer to smile as to frown... And I embrace relationships instead of tangibles...

#static

Matter of fact

Water comes in three forms as we all know. 

Solid. 

liquid

gas

We don't give much thought to the fact that all water has the same ability. Every ocean

river

lake

pond 

gallon

drop

molecule

can either be liquid and heated to become water vapor...

Now is it really gas? What magic happened right before your eyes as you see water reach 100° 

and begin to

what we call evaporate?

Did it no longer exist to be water now?

but what happened?

If you run your hand through vapor it will get wet... 

Stick it in a bucket of water it will get wet

Now stick your hand in a plastic bag and then stick it in a bucket of water. 

You just experienced atmospheric pressure. We call that one earth atmosphere. That's the inward pressure of gravity pulling all the water molecules around your plastic encased hand. But your hand is made of water and the water just reconnects when you stick your hand in the bucket without a plastic bag. Pull your hand out and it's wet.

So gas liquid solid. 

Or it can be liquid and have heat removed and become solid. 

Ice is water in solid form. 

Ice is magnetic. 

Ice is conductive. 

Ice is also an insulator. 

Now think back to 4th grade science. 

Molecules bounce around in a gas and slow down as a liquid and barely move as a solid. We tend to think bounce around means no path just chaotic. 

It is a designed path 

What travels down this path?

that is light "traveling"*

 in a helix around the molecules 

Some people see light as 2 or 3 dimensionally. 

2d is like drawing a line up and down

This is a light wavelength 

3D is capable in your mind look at the same professional drawing above and now see the straight line in the middle being wrapped with the other line. 

Like a spring. This is how everything in the universe travels. Ever wonder why everything is round when you look up? How about when you get lightheaded and see stars? Round stars right!?

Now look at the amazing drawing I made above 1 last time. And encircle the straight line clockwise and counterclockwise. And see the infinite ways you can speed up or slow down the waves by squeezing or pulling them.

 

Think about your DNA it's built on the same platform. 

the more there are the tighter the path the more gravity comes into play because you add mass you add gravity. 

So solid liquid and gas 

One drop of water can be all three at any given moment.

 Now remove light from the equation. 

How can you experience water without light?

You can't. Light is everything. It's just how much will be reflected. Water can reflect at any of these stages as well. A mirage in the desert. There are reflective properties in water and ice. But you have to have light. Light is heat. No heat no vapor. No heat no liquid. No heat no ice. 

(I have a theory about super ice...)

Light and water. The two poles of the helix. 

Now add salt. 

Add salt to water and now you've changed its properties. 

Salt water will hold an electric charge. 

Salt in water adds to waters displacement value.  

Add salt to ice and it will cause the molecules to separate or thaw. 

But salt won't vaporize with water. Otherwise we would have salty rain. There wouldn't be any fresh water on planet earth.

Salt is invasive. 

Salt is the variable. 

Salt is the rungs that connect the helix. 

So 

light salt and water. 

Liquid solid gas

That's as simple as it gets. 

Light is everywhere. 

It composes everything. 

In order to have life you have to have water.  

So what is the salt? Life

All three intertwined. 

The human body is a perfect example. 

When we take in water we flush out salt. Through urine sweat blood mucus feces

When we get light we are energized. We eat salt it absorbs water we gain weight. It's fascinating. But water does not change whether it is solid liquid or gas. Only our perception of it changes from our circumstances. 

*I do not believe light travels. Not in the same sense we use the word travel from point a to point b. It exists. It travels instantly. Instantly doesn't line up with time. Lightspeed is an oxymoron. Einstein knew you couldn't go faster than the speed of light. He couldn't grasp it as many other scientist can't. It's a bolt of lightning not going away. There is no off switch. Which means there was no on switch. So no beginning and no end. Constant power. Static. See if light travelled to a room wouldn't it stay there? If water travels to a tub it stays right? I can add heat to a room... I can add gas to a room...Why doesn't light stay in a dark room? Because it has to have a path to follow (water) and has to be maintained (salt)

So what is my point? Water is water. We just call it different things because scientists told us to. Because you would be correct in calling ice...cold water and vapor...hot water. 

Solid...

liquid...

gas...

same thing they told us what to think. Fish breathe oxygen and so do we. But we breathe it differently. But it's still just oxygen. 

Selah

A world in Flux and someone instructed to balance it

I never thought I would have a friend tell me my family reminded him of the Cosby family. One of the greatest compliments I've ever received. Growing up no one ever told me how it was really going to be like to be a man. I was shown by a few. But lied to by many. Because they didn't even know. I had to see with my own two eyes. I don't trust anybody. You tell me the elevators on its way I still will push the button. I don't care. It's automatic for me. 

There are several who grew up like me with no solidconsistentalwaystherenomatterwhatIloveyoumychildI'mgoingtoalwaysbeherefather figure...well....it can create a life of inconsistency. The fathers role is so important. Hitler had great power in just saying that Germany was the fatherland. Fathers are important. Consistency is important. Self worth is important. No matter the color...Everyman feels good after a hard days work. After following a set of plans building something. Some use their hands some use their minds. Some use both. Tradesmen use both. Tradesmen used to be looked at with honor. Then the money came in the 80's....all this credit....all these drugs...all these amenities...readily available. Get it today pay for it tomorrow. People have sold their souls for a leather couch haha

It's time to reset. There's a lot of work that needs to be done. It takes someone with a great vision to make great things happen. I have so many great things I'm going to be a part of materializing. It's nice to be on a winning team. iWork with my two best friends. iWork in an industry that's very profitable. So wouldn't you think someone like me would be part of forming an electrical conglomerate? Hahaha

I'm about to put a stranglehold on the market. 

I'm just playing. 

No I'm not.

I'm dead serious. 

If you're willing to learn it's going to be a lot cheaper. 

You think it's expensive now.

(Insert evil laughter)

That's where it's going to start. Then capital will be added to our coffers and we can fund research and development. This is key!!! Innovation comes from tinkerers. I tinker in my mind.

 (I've built houses...cars...mag lev systems...solar panel fields...neighborhood backup generators...water filtration systems...a superhighway transit system in space...all in my head I'm going to blog on this 

Above Standard Living 

A way of light.)  

We will be able to pay livable wages to manufacture innovations. Allowing the research and development to go out on the production floor. Something that's not possible with plant jobs being moved over seas. You have to have a plentiful labor force in order to grow. Every company is multilevel. There's always going to be a few at the top. You work hard you climb the pyramid. Nothing is handed. Bringing pride back to men. Putting men to work instead of locking them up is all a community needs in order to thrive. As long as a man takes care of his home. Neighbors will take care of their community. The community takes care of the city and so on and so on. Electricity though... Why electricity? Because it's light. We are told to spread light. I just realized what the proverbial cryptic writing on the wall was and what it meant. No matter what is going on electricity is required going forward. The minute we lose social media. We aren't going to know how to act. It's going to happen. One day you will pick up that phone and it's going to say no signal. You better pray you made the right decision. And somebody comes and knocks on your door... Instead of kicking it in. 

Think about if an electrical substation gets taken out in a neighborhood. Or 10 neighborhoods. Simultaneously around the country. All at the same time. There are too many afraid to work on electricity. And so many that would die not knowing its potential. If you couldn't provide power...those neighborhoods are down for 48 hours minimum...most cell phones are down within 24 hours. Then you're forced to charge your phone in the car. But what if it takes longer? What if it's bigger? No power for two weeks. Even water is out. Destroying the electric grid....You'd be a fool to do that and have no back up plan. No direct current capabilities.... No solar panels... No batteries.... You might've killed yourself and your family. 

Yeah. Electricity. I'm about to bring back empowerment to a lot of men. And help a lot of people become self employed. As I've said. I will tell anyone I know what I know. If they ask me. Well for the most part... I ain't telling you where I lay my head. Believe that!!! Haha #static

Frustration

Begin rant...One of the dumbest things I see people that have money do is...spend a ridiculous amount of money renting a house. And then get sued for not paying their rent. I mean 100s of thousands of dollars. When they could buy a modest house and invest and flip their money. Then buy an even nicer house. And play with the other money. People go bankrupt for a bunch of reasons and they have nothing to worry about. Their debts are just forgiven. That's just legal theft. If you don't have the money to pay back and especially if you have no intention of paying it... You should go to jail. Be a lot less people filing bankruptcy if their ass had to go to jail. Especially when you're one of the people they owe money too. I'd like to punch them in the face for every dollar. My hand...wrist... and all my fingers would be broke and I'd probably have a fractured elbow and dislocated shoulder. Another thing that pisses me off is people being able to file frivolous lawsuits and then Drs and other professionals getting screwed having to pay for all this malpractice insurance that makes them have to raise their rates and all kinds of other stuff. Their ass needs to go to jail to. Sit your ass still for about a week. And look all around you... all these people contributed tax dollars on your behalf to go inside a court building that has lights...heat and air ... Tax paid officers of the court...bailiffs ...judges...and then people even have to take off work. To serve jury duty... And you crying cause some coffee burned you!? Mannnnnnnn McDonalds could give me $500 and I would punch that old lady in the throat. With my ski mask on... I'd take out some frustration in that punch.  If she's still alive. I'd like to punch a bunch of people in the throat. Not to be mean. Not at all. All love. It's all in love. Your mama didn't spank you??? Well this is how it happens when you get grown. Throat punch... Followed by laughter followed by someone running off coughing cause they slurped some spit back down their throat as they got up off the ground because they were rolling on the ground laughing so hard at the person they just punched rolling on the ground gasping and asking why???? 

One day I'm going to snap. But it's going to be when I'm an old man. Because then people won't know what to do. I'm just going to call younger men sonny and have some sob story like look I don't know what I'm doing I'm sorry. And then when they drop their guard it's a wrap. I'm bouncing! I'm going to be an old man that's a fugitive on the run. Just be reports of a "serial throat puncher" with a real sweet picture of me with my family in the background on the 6:00 news.  Then some surveillance video footage of me getting my stinkmeaner on in somebody's parking lot. Don't think I'm playing either. I'm practicing my kill bill 3" punch. Be able to crush somebody's larynx. And I'm running too. So I have to have enough wind... In order to laugh... That's one of my fears... Choking on spit while I'm running away... I want a clean getaway... But I've got to be laughing. This is important. The laughter is an intricate part of the whole plan. I've got plenty of time to plan though. At least 25 years. 60 years of life... I won't be too old to not get away. I just want 2 steps and you ain't catching me. Some people want money some people want fame. I want a flawless crime...but it's for other people. Unless they pay me a lot of money then it's how greedy do I want to be. End rant...

#static

100 years in the making

100 year capacity...

What our bodies are able to sustain. 

That's a very generous estimate on what the average human could expect to live. I would say the first 30-35 years are developmental years. So 65-70 years we will be who we are. I don't believe too many are going to deviate from their habits... beliefs... norms... Growing up I always wanted a relationship with God. I didn't grow up in church so I was extremely critical and hateful to church folks. I made fun of them and would challenge them to answer questions I knew they couldn't answer just out of spite. The crazy thing is that a lot of my friends were preachers kids and some still are. (I'm married to one haha)

But as an adult what are most people focused on? Most people have lost their passion the cares and battles of life have worn them thin. And yet they have so much time on their hands. The scary thing is there are so many people putting things off till tomorrow. I'll go to church one day. I'll spend time with the kids one day. I'll do a date night one day. I'll eat healthier... I'll exercise... I'll get on a budget... I'll quit abusing ____... I would say 99% of the people in the cemetery had that same thought process. You get set in your ways and then procrastination takes precedence over change. I think one major factor attributed to this... People who say I'm getting old... Old is a state of mind...Ray Kroc said it best...As long as you're green, you're growing. As soon as you're ripe, you start to rot... I will forever be green...always growing... Always with a young state of mind. People will go to work and hate their jobs. Hate the people they work with. Hate the car they drive. Hate the house they live in. And always complain about how tired they are. And how their life is so much harder than everyone else's. They look forward to the weekend as if some time away is really the answer. I don't argue or try to change their mind. I'm so past trying to convince people who don't want to listen. Because the minute you start trying to explain to someone what they can do. They come with another complaint. Time will tell but I guarantee you those same people are going to look older than their true age 10 years from now. That's if they are still alive. Stress kills. And then you have people running around creating fear about dying. You need to get tested for this or this. Make sure you have this vaccine. (That's a whole other can of worms though.) But the people you meet who have a great attitude and smile and love their life I'm convinced will live long lives. Because they have a different outlook. A youthful outlook. Optimism that didn't get robbed from their adolescence. There's only so much time we have here. 100 years... What can you squeeze into a hundred years? How many books can you read? How many degrees can you get? How many dollars can you earn? How many hours can you...watch TV? play video games? edit social media posts? take selfies? workout in the gym? sit at a bar? stare at porn?  How many people can you...hook up with? step over? humiliate? look down on? use? abuse? lie to? cheat? There's always someone who will claim to be an expert. That's nonsense. There is no such thing as an expert. There are people who are knowledgable. George Washington Carver dedicated his life to studying nature and he made new discoveries until the day he died. Even if you are able to read everything you can on a subject you still won't reach a point where you know it all. With the movement of science supporting so many theories it is now impossible to become an expert. All you have to do is come up with a theory that disproves another theory that's based on another theory based on a law based on another theory. 

Call me stupid...short-sighted...a bible-thumper...or whatever...but I would rather the main focal point of my life be studying the holy scriptures and seeking God in every facet of my life. 

I've learned recently a different way of looking at negative situations. For example not getting paid. For several reasons there have been times where I might not get paid for my work. This is extremely frustrating. Because I know how to collect money. I did it way before I had a business or real job. But I operate within the realms of the law. But a few times I just could not get the people to cooperate or I felt compelled to finish the job I had started. Knowing full well that I was losing money. I see it so differently now. I did some charity work. I've written off a lot of things as charity work. Because all my works I work as if God is my master. And he keeps a record. The money I didn't receive then was seed for a later harvest. Now I'm 35 years into my life and I've grasped that. It's a perspective I'll probably have for the remainder of my life. It will keep me from being bitter. It will keep me young. Of course I've learned the legal means to get paid along the way. Doing is the best teacher for me. I can read about something over and over its me doing something that allows me to grasp it. Having a customer sign a contract is me doing. So I no longer perform charity work unless I choose to. I don't feel 35 I still feel like a kid. And I think I always will. Because 100 years...well that's a pretty short time compared to eternity...and I don't want to grow old. 

#static

The Good Life

I refuse to live anything less than the good life. I've grown up in a struggle with an enormous amount of resistance. Not always but a lot. I feel prepared for anything that I may now face. I'm not settling for anything less than the best. I live a life of victory. I had a revelation today. That anytime you put your faith in another man/woman they will eventually let you down. It's inevitable and if it seems that they don't there are some things that you just might not be aware of. Never look to another person to encourage, motivate, congratulate, provide or comfort you. Because if you're not doing that for yourself you will get caught up by the individual that makes you "feel" any one of those self surviving aspects of your life, and are exposing yourself to limitless frustration. There's nothing wrong with having those people but those are just like revs to an engine while sitting still. You have to be the driving force. You have to start the car put it in gear foot to the floor hands on the wheel and know you're not going to crash. Know that you can handle yourself and even though fear may creep in it is silenced by your courage. Everyone will always tell you how hard life is or will forever be. Don't agree. Don't accept that. It's a lie. Reject the status quo. Reject those who have limited or governed you. Embrace your spirits desire to be fully encompassed with joy. Work hard for your achievements. Be the best you can be. Because when you are on the worlds stage you should be your number 1 fan. Or it's all for nothing. 

Eyes wide open

I am black. 

I am white. 

I am of mulatto descent. 

I am mulatto. 

I am different. 

I am special. 

I am highly favored. 

I'm instructed by scripture to not be conformed by this world.  I'm starting to see the power of just making that claim. How much it sets me apart from the pack. How it exposes my lack of fear which runs rampant in our society. My primary occupation is electrician. Now I'm also a business owner. I'm working on being an inventor as well as a leader. Most people are afraid of electricity. I'm not. Most people don't understand what I do. I'm a bridge builder.  I'm able to go into a structure and build a bridge for electricity to travel into and then out of the structure. My job is to eliminate electricity's potential. Control something I can't see by properly calculating a number of variables into a solution that protects everyone in that structure from being harmed by electrical shock. My lack of fear in general removes me from the stance that I should act either black or white. It allows me the ability to create my own social status. In my life I have experienced prejudice from so many. I have encountered blatant racism and public humiliation by being the only one of either race or because I was the only one on welfare or because of my clothes or lack of education or because I was the only one willing to speak up. 

I've also experienced so much grace. I've had people from all levels of the socioeconomic class that exists pour into me. I've learned from CEOs CIOs CFOs people who have losts vast fortunes from self made multimillionaires from politicians from community organizers. Old young black white Hmong  Ethiopian male female people from all walks of life have taught me so many life lessons. So how can I place a label on myself to attempt to differentiate myself from others? Especially because I'm a product of so many others. 

Growing up I always just wanted acceptance. Neither of my parents saw the paradox they created by choosing to have mulatto children. Ultimately they both abandoned us leaving us to fend for ourselves. It was a cruel experience to endure hate for something I couldn't control and had no say so in. 

The world I live in is so focused on the past that they can't see forwards. White people and black people in general frustrate me. The need to differentiate is understandable but it can be done in a peaceful manner. Those willing to speak out are quickly silenced. One such person is Robert Kennedy who wrote The Enemy Within. I haven't read it but I know it took a lot of courage to write. I'm sure it had a lot to do with his untimely death. It's on my list of books to read. White privilege exists. Anyone who disputes that is just blind to reality. But at the same time black people need to acknowledge how they are so self destructive. Black people think they have the market cornered on being mistreated in this society. And that they are excused from having to do what all of us our required to do because of previous injustice. Or because they've been mistreated by a white person. We see images of whites only and colored signs from recent times. Those same water fountains labeled colored were drank out of by Hispanics Asians native Americans and all other non-whites. Life is hard. No matter if you are white black rich poor skinny fat healthy or sick. It's hard and we all have our challenges. But what are we focused on the negative or positive?

It's all about perspective. Times have changed. Laws have been rewritten so many times that a person can do just about whatever they want today. GE decided they didn't want to pay taxes anymore.... Guess what? They don't! As I look around me I'm just taking it all in.  I'm soaking up everything around me and plotting on how to utilize everything I have at my disposal so that I'm in a position to continue to spread the gospel. I truly feel like I'm looking at the world through my rear view. Because I'm headed to a new world. Not new world order. But to a destination that I envision where I will feel safe. If you were to take a Bernie Madoff a known and convicted thief and tell him he had to live in the tough parts of Chicago Detroit or LA. He would be terrified. But what about the poor old women that have to live there? The handicapped? The young girls and boys? None of them ever feel safe. Nobody is willing to go to the ghetto. Everyone wants out. Everyone wants to feel safe. 

The important thing to keep in mind is that dynasties are formed first by risk takers. Then handed over to the next generation. If you aren't handed a dynasty you should be building your dynasty. Or just sit there and watch those that are. We live in a society that has no real poverty. Not really. It's a battle in the mind. Some battles must be lost in order to win the war. If you live in poverty in America it's by choice. With so much information at our fingertips we should be leading change in this world. Unfortunately we have a generation in control that is greedy. Doing its best to maintain control by overburdening those trying to climb the proverbial ladder of success while also pacifying those who are lazy and want everything handed to them. The result will be a shift of power creating a void between the outgoing generation and those who are in position to have it handed to them. Because the people willing to take risks will be able to leverage themselves in a position that those who've been handed power will not be able to act accordingly because they never learned how to take risks. Just maintain control. And those who are lazy will unfortunately walk themselves into a modern day slavery. They will line up just as the Egyptians did in front of Joseph. Unless they wake up. It's not a black or white issue. You're either asleep or awake. There are those who say you have to choose the lesser of two evils. I say I choose no evil. I say I choose to follow the way the truth and the life that which is Jesus Christ.  And in doing so I am able to create my own destiny my own norms my own culture my own view of this world always focused on God and filtered by his light. Wide awake. #static

The root of all evil grows into a vine and has branches flowers and fruit

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. (Matthew 6:24 KJV)

This has been hard for me to grasp. But I finally got it. Your master is who you trust. Who you turn to when you don't know what to do. Who you go to when you need help. This world has bought into the system of money. Sometimes it's all people talk about. Some people just want one more dollar.  But we are instructed to not be of this world. We are instructed seek ye first the kingdom of God and all our needs will be given to us. If you are seeking something it means you're looking. If what you're looking for can't be seen then you must close your eyes. Once your eyes are closed you are disconnected from this world. Your mind is walking through the valley of darkness. This is how you seek the kingdom. Along the way you will have everything you need provided. It's a long journey. All the while life is still going on around you. The valley is deep wet and cold lined with enemies on both sides. Most people are too afraid they either don't bother to start or they decide to just open their eyes. They want to make sense by rationalizing with their vision and perception. If all we see in this world and what the media shoves in front of us is in order to be happy you have to have nice things. Then we want those nice things. We will work hard for those nice things. We will lie for those nice things. We will position ourselves in an advantageous situation to acquire those things. We will rob for those nice things. We will kill for those nice things. Sell our bodies. Abuse our bodies. We will even pray for those nice things. But they are just things. And after we get them we are still empty. The sad thing is when you're praying for those nice things you're praying to the wrong god. Light was provided for us to experience Gods creation. Anything that is not of God is darkness. And you can't make darkness light. It's impossible. But that's what this world has taught us. Money is darkness. If that is your focus or what you are seeking you're worshipping an idol. Most people would not seek after something they don't love. So ask yourself who are you praying to? We aren't to bring our problems to God in a fashion where we are begging him to give us something for selfishness or a false sense of happiness. Nor lay up these false treasures and place our faith in them whether they be an ira 401k savings stocks or anything else I can't see once my eyes are closed. All idols. I serve the Alpha and Omega. Never ending. Always there. Eternal just like the darkness of the great deep. #static

Salt and light

Today I have lived on earth as it has revolved around the pulling force of gravity in our solar system for 35 years. Some would give the customary acknowledgement of happy birthday. Unbeknownst to them this is the first I've had that is actually happy. I've never cared for the attention being on me. I've always just wanted to feel like I belonged. People that have a family don't realize how much that affects an individual. One birthday in particular I remember was my eighteenth. I had been working at Sears for almost two years and quit a couple months back. I'd started at woodland hills when I was 16 and then moved to the old store on 21st And Yale that was torn down when I was 17. It had been one year since my mother had kicked me out. I had completely turned my back on God. At this time I was an atheist. I had no morals or care or code to live by. My reasoning was because I figured I wanted to do whatever I wanted and then I was going into the Air Force. Ever since I could remember all I wanted to do was fly. Somehow I believed I would be able to become an Air Force jet fighter pilot. I woke up hung over from the 100 proof southern comfort I decided to over indulge in called out to my friend Smitty who was staying with me that we needed to get ready to go. All I had talked about since New Years was me enlisting in the Air Force. As we walked up to the front doors of the recruiters office across from east land mall I began to have second thoughts. I wondered what my family would think when they found out and if they would even care. I walked into the office as confident as I could I was greeted by a soldier that asked me how I was doing.  I said great I'm ready to enlist. He said excellent go ahead and fill this form out. He handed me a clipboard with the pen tied off with a string and scotch tape holding the knot in place. I filled out the form handed it back and he told me I'm sorry we can't accept your application. I asked why not he said you have asthma. I pleaded with him that I didn't have anything else and lied saying it wasn't that bad to no avail. He then asked Smitty what his plans were and then ended up having him enlist as I sat in the waiting area furious. I asked for a phone book and found the navy recruiters office and then went there. Then the army. Then the marines. Then finally the coast guard before I finally accepted that the United States military did not want me. The drive home I contemplated suicide amongst so many other things. It was one of the worst days of my life. I felt completely rejected and worthless. This began a very dark period in my life. I did several things that I'm not proud of but I have no regrets. I swore I would never celebrate another birthday. Fast forward to today and I can only say that God is so good to me. My cup runneth over. I'm so amazed at what has happened in my life once I finally gave up and surrendered to Gods plans and call on my life. It's been beyond my expectations. I have the best wife. The best kids. And I am a King. Because God said every place that the sole of my foot shall tread upon, that have I given unto you, as I said unto Moses. (Joshua 1:3 KJV) I never thought I would be where I'm at. Or have met the people I've met. I've met a guy that's going to teach me how to fly as well as help me build my own plane. But  the vision I've been given!!! I wish to share my vision with the world and this begins the day that I put forth my all to accomplish that. Scriptures say: And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams: (Acts 2:17 KJV)

I was 18 years old and a few days when God gave me my first vision. Long story short I ended up in parkside for three days. When I was released I never told anyone else what I had witnessed. I was afraid everyone would think I was crazy and they would lock me up again. I've seen what is to come. The future and all the many great things that I will help to invent and the many vehicles God will use to spread the good news. I am a prophet. It's even my namesake. And I'm no longer ashamed or afraid. I don't hide behind a nickname. There are those that God calls on to do his work and I want to be the best minister and servant I can be. Because scripture also says: But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: (Matthew 20:25-27 KJV)

I am compelled to spread the gospel and the good news. Our enemy has attacked the beginning and the end. The alpha and the omega. Genesis and revelation. He is very clever. He's dismantled creation and the apocalypse. He's convinced the world that evolution is true and that there will be world peace. Science cannot explain God nor his creation. He is the author of lies. I am a messenger of light. I've been shown how everything works. Perhaps you might say I've seen what Newton, Einstein, Hertz, Tesla, Edison, Ford, Hawking and what many others have tried to explain. And can lay it all out in simple terms. With the internet I have what none of them had unlimited access to just about everything. For any question I have I can find an answer. And for those I can't God shows me. How I came to be an electrician is a story in and of itself. I didn't start that until I was 19. But I want everything that comes from my lips to edify and build up my fellow man. At this point my current hurdle or challenge which may seem small and insignificant to some is profanity. I choose to no longer use language that is not deemed holy or that which does not benefit my brother.  The amazing thing about it is all I have to do is tell people my testimony. That's all. Just tell my story. My experience with our God. Pretty simple. I need make no sacrifice or live my life in lack. All my debts, all my sins are paid in full. I've got a blank check and I'm coming for my brothers and sisters. Selah. Amen.  and of course #static

I clean up well

I'm going into my sixth year of business. And I'm just now coming to terms with the fact that I've made it. I had so much fear about going into business and operated out of fear. Beforehand I talked to and asked people about the different venues of business. I took night classes at TCC. So I could function as a good business owner. I took fast track courses that were two 2 hour classes a week for a month. So I was in way over my head. I took college algebra and squeaked by with a C. My teacher was a mechanical engineer and I said I was going to be an electrical engineer. It was going to take a lot of math. I then took trigonometry and it was a nightmare for me. I could not grasp it. It used to frustrate me that other people would tell me how easy it was.  It was just to much of a leap I ended up with a D but D's get degrees! Besides....I was engaged and all I cared about was my future bride. I couldn't stop thinking about her. This was 2002 so phones were still analog. Which meant green screen and tapping the number button signs a certain number of times to get to the right letter. Kids now a days have it made. I saw swipe on another phone and was amazed. iPhone doesn't have a swipe it has an annoyingly obnoxious auto correct. Haha anyway 6th year I had heard so much I talked to white people black people Mexican people Asian people men and women. All of them told me what I already knew scared people would say. I couldn't do it. Most business fail the first year. Most black companies fail because they try to grow to quick. Don't go out and spend a lot of money. Then you gotta make it a year then three years then 5 years and so on. All that it taught me was they had a lack of faith in being able to do it. For them and anyone else trying to do it. So I stayed small. I've made good money. Live better than most. And had nothing but problem after problem. Because I've been trying to force my way. And what I thought was supposed to happen. And not seeking Gods way. Over the years I've had significant challenges. I've had numerous complaints from spoiled brats who expect things by demand and not request. I've had a guy cuss me out call me a crook and then call me back and apologize because I was the only person who knew what they were talking about. I decided not to get a physical location because that was an overhead I wanted to stay away from. After my first year I chose to focus on paying my guys more rather than paying myself. It was a gamble but it was worth it. I've figured out the business side so now it's just copy and paste. Grow and expand as aggressive as I can and overwhelm my competition by being so far ahead that they come begging me to join or face their businesses demise. 

Yeah I go there real fast my mind just goes so quick sometimes. This blog is about shit though. Literally. 

So let's begin. 

I leased a building that I wanted in a location that I think is ideal. Right by the highway right by Midtown. The real Midtown. The dividing line between Tulsa and North Tulsa. So that I can provide service to both. It's a personal checks and balance system. If I can serve citizens from both locales and garner a sense of predominant satisfaction I can achieve anything. There's a saying that if you can make it in New York you can make it anywhere. Well my family is from New York and I'm here in Oklahoma the reddest state in the union and I'm a half black man and I'm successful. I'd say I could make  it anywhere as well. When I leased the spot the owner was hesitant. He didn't like dealing with people and I'd asked him if he was firm and he told me he didn't think I was serious or ready. I asked him whys that because I'm wanting to negotiate? I ended up paying him three months in advance just to let him know. I wasn't able to take occupancy as planned it was supposed to be Jan 1 but the prior tenant didn't move out until the 15th. Which completely screwed up my plans. I had everything mapped out spend a whole week moving and getting organized and then week 2 in January hit the ground running. So I was two weeks behind. And it's only gotten worse.

 But the shit. 

I walked into the place after it was emptied and it was filthy. What I had envisioned was anything but. I'd only had a brief minute to pop by and check it out but now I could do a thorough walk through. And the place was trashed. None of the lights were working it reeked of chemicals and death. I walked to the bathroom.

And evidently they hadn't had the water on. So they just shit wherever. I mean out behind the building there were all kind of hot ones and no toilet paper in sight!!! So somebody's butt was itching! And the toilet was full. And there was a five gallon bucket next to it. Half full. I could only peer in because the smell was so noxious I thought I was going to pass out. And all I could think is I'm going to fall headfirst into that shit and that's how they'll find me suffocated 34 years old head in a toilet of human excrement. I didn't open the door for a week. I started to call someone. And I couldn't bring myself to do it. If I wasn't willing to do it how could I hire someone else? So I knew what I had to do. I had to wrestle the turds. I had to wait for the water to be turned on though. So this presents a new problem. One I hadn't considered. Utilities! I had to put everything in my name! I just hadn't thought about the process. It's cold so I can't turn the water on without the heat on. I didn't want the pipes to burst. And the gas meter was hidden in the back in a closet. Yeah to steal gas. I tried to install the meter myself and couldn't and I got a plumber friend to get me hooked up.  The property was sold so I now had new landlords. He was a painter. So this could work out nicely. He got the water on and flushed the toilet. But it was still terrible. I went to Walmart and spent about 50 bucks on cleaning supplies soap and lotion paper towels toilet paper. Wipes which are so important haha and I grabbed some disposable gloves and a pumice stone why? I had never seen one never used one but this thing looked like it would scrub the shit out of anything just what the dr ordered. I headed back and round 1 began. I used a toilet bowl brush that was left behind I'm guessing as a parting joke? Or maybe just them thumbing their nose at me and comet I threw comet everywhere like on mommie dearest I was cussing the whole time. Every expletive you can imagine. And the aroma. That was the worst part. Shit mixed in with rotten food and vomit. Oh my god the vomit almost got me. On numerous occasions. I had to run out side dry heaving.  The last straw was dropping the pumice stone and having some water hit me in the face. If I'd have had some gasoline handy I might've Richard Pryored myself. I just took it as an omen to leave the shit alone. So round 1 went to the shit. Because I had made little improvement.

Round 2....well let's just say a little elbow grease and I came with a tko.

(Yeah that's a soap bottle from Williams Sonoma with some Walmart soap in it just because I'm a cultured nigga haha)

  I sat there wondering to myself why am I wanting to fix it up? Because it was so gross and neglected? It was at that moment I saw the parallel of my life and how I've never felt like a good person. Always wondering why my parents didn't want to be in my life? How filthy and worthless I felt at times. Like I was something people only dealt with when they had to then immediately shut the door and never looked back. But then a determination that came out of nowhere to be the best I can be and to work with what God has given me overcame me. There are a few key people in my life that never gave up on me. That were willing to get down and dirty because they felt I was worth it. Now the toilet might not be white as snow but it's a far cry from where it was. Just like me I might not have it all together still might smell like shit but I'm getting better. 

#static

The long way home

On my way home today I went the long way. I was working on a house in North Tulsa not to far from one of the houses I grew up in. As I drove down the street I could remember the first drive there. My mother had abandoned me and my sister. We were placed in my fathers care. He still lived with his mother. Tears welled up as I began to reprocess all the hate and sorrow I experienced. The fear of not knowing my father. The culture shock of living in a white household to the household of an irresponsible abusive bully also a drunk. As I rounded the corner I could no longer see the house. It had long been torn down. Condemned I believe because of rodent infestation. I parked my truck and walked along the sidewalk remembering fighting and wrestling the entire evening with Jason. He died from lupus. His house was gone too. I could see the old tree we were going to build a tree house in but we didn't have any wood. The wood we did end up stealing we didn't know what to do with and ended up just using to cut the tree down. We used my dads machete and butchered the poor tree. Knuckles was pushing on a limb he had just cut it was just after dusk I asked him what he was doing and then he yelled oh shit watch out! Next thing I knew I was waking up after having a two by four dropped on my head from probably twenty feet in the air. I rubbed my head and saw a brown liquid on my hand. Under the Orange light I couldn't tell it was red so I didn't panic. Only after going in the house did I realize I was covered in blood. I can remember sitting in Ralph's living room as his family found out his cousin Marlo who had lived with them was sentenced to life in prison. So many stories......

I only lived in the house and neighborhood for 9 months. And I can't help but think how far I've come and how this neighborhood is one of the poorest in Tulsa but some of the best and most honest people live and lived there. Some of the wisest and humble people. I learned so much from the people in this neighborhood. Developed lifelong friendships. And lost some along the way. To prison or the grave. It was always heartbreaking to find out someone had gone. Especially when I knew I was involved in one way or another. I've done my best to try to walk the straight and narrow because so many made so many sacrifices for me to be able to do so. I'm thinking of buying the old lot where my old house was. I learned a lot from my grandmother. She was from New York and moved here as a single woman leaving all our family behind and started her own dry cleaners called New York style cleaners right on Cincinnati next to R&R foods. I can remember her telling me I would be a successful business man. And one day I would meet my family. She was strange to me and I didn't always understand what she was doing. But I knew she loved me and it wasn't much but it was still home. Deep Turley.  #static

The lonely walk

Certain men are required to walk alone. Simply because walking with another can cause you to possibly go a direction you might not have travelled. Sometimes God has to get you by yourself so he can reach you with no distractions. If you're not listening sometimes he will stunt one of your senses temporarily temporary blindness, deafness, paralysis or being mute. In order to teach you how to  face your life's challenges and to make you strong for the enemy. 

What comes to mind is a snow leopard charging through fresh snow. With no path in front of him but driven by his senses and a level of faith that most would call insane. An inward understanding that somewhere in this white desert there is life yielding power in another animals life that it knows it will kill and then consume. Unlike the snow leopard some men aren't required to always walk alone. I feel the curse has lifted and I've woken up with my family surrounding me. #static

Path of humility

There are so many people that are oblivious to how selfish, self centered, narcissistic, rude, and hateful they are. But at this point in my life, which I would call a huge transitionary period, I'm learning to ignore them. And even pray for them. Just because you have a job making good money and not dealing with the public does not mean all that won't change in the near future. Because most people are so focused on money. I tell people all the time it's just money. Because that's all it is just money. Can't get you anything that matters besides sustenance. But even then you can find food all around in nature if you know how. This society is so focused on looking in the mirror only to see what can be concealed for fear of shame. I hardly look in the mirror. Most days I don't even brush my hair. After my surgery any vanity I had ultimately left me. So what seemed like punishment actually ended up freeing me. My dad told me every man should go through basic training. I went to every military branch on my eighteenth birthday with my best friend who was going to juco to play basketball. I was denied by everyone because of asthma. My best friend actually ended up getting recruited into the Air Force which caused a strain on our relationship because I was jealous. Later I found out I probably wouldn't have made it because I have a tendency to be insubordinate. Several people are in my life that have been buffers for me. Protecting me. I never understood why. But it's becoming more plain to me now. 

Back to selfish people. I think most people should have to deal with the general public. I mean seriously. Work in a restaurant and serve some people. You would think someone spending $20 for an entree is royalty. I waited tables before dropped a whole tray of drinks in a guys lap and then started laughing because I was so nervous. He was the calmest person I ever met. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me it's no big deal. He'd been there before. And still gave me a $20 tip this was back in '99 mind you! At this point I realized I wanted to have this guys type of self control. Some people have no idea. I go into a place and might not get served the best, I might get overlooked, I might get slighted but I don't lose my shit over it. I've seen people cuss a quiktrip employee out because they didn't have any donuts, or the fountain drinks weren't sweet enough, or there was no ice. These same people that try to force their way to the front will find themselves at the back. And people like me who don't mind waiting our turn, being kind and polite and understanding will be in the front. I understand that this world does not revolve around me and that expectations should never be the basis for my attitude to be hateful to my fellow man. Sometimes life is hard and things don't go as planned. But there is always a gift in the problem. I can always find God in my darkest times. All I have to do is close my eyes. He's always there. #static

Worthy of worship

So I have this patch of skin from my leg on my head. That's a strange statement. But as I was sitting in church this morning I had several revelations. I realized that when I don't partake of praise and worship I don't get in the realm of God to receive the word properly. We were late and got there by the time the sermon was started. So because I hadn't cried and shed my tears for the battles faced the previous week I wasn't able to transpose. So I was disruptive and not focused. I was talking to Brandy not paying attention. And I was reminded how when I was in elementary school we got up every morning and said the pledge of allegiance and sang America the beautiful and the star spangled banner and we paid attention and excelled in our studies. Until my 10th grade year I was always in accelerated courses. The majority of my peers are some of the brightest people in this country. However our generation is neglecting the importance of our spirituality. This one overlooked step is the enemy's greatest weapon. We don't have a spirit of true worship. So we have no unity. Everyone wants to elevate themselves and step on the next man. Ask yourself who's spirit is that? Money is the downfall and destruction of so much in this world. It also is unfortunately the only place where what we would call our worship is focused. Now think about it. Money represents rocks. Gold. It's printed on trees. Paper. What if we worshipped water or light. There are gods for these earthly things. A sun god named Ra. A God for the sea, Poseidon. Think if we held water as a means of trade. Like what if the water all was contaminated. Turned to blood from an oil leak. Oil is the earths blood. You bleed something long enough it will die. Just look at George Washington. There are several more earthquakes going on. Could this be the earth groaning in birth pangs? A new heaven and new earth. Those who know how to properly filter water laden with oil will be the wealthy and in control. Oil companies who choose to invest in electricity are going to be

the new Barons. Electrical barons. I plan on being one. I just won't be one who started in oil. But this patch of skin. I got a bad drs report and went down a path of fear for almost 2 years. I almost died! Literally! My body had went through so many chemical changes. The dr told me he didn't think I was going to make it. That everyone in that emergency room experienced a miracle and had never experienced the level of faith and how calm I was. No one ever wants to hear the word cancer. Let alone what you have is extremely aggressive and only 1 in a million people get this.  My sins are forever visible to my fellow man. I'm marked with my lack of faith. On the side of my head. That my crown will not cover. People stare at me and don't say anything. But the children! They are fearless they ask me. What happened? And I'm able to share my testimony. However brief I'm able to share with them a glimpse of my light. When the altar call came at the end no one raised their hand. I was praying that someone would and it didn't happen right then. But the chairs we were sitting in were anointed. And someone that sits in our chairs will raise their hand. And enter into the kingdom. Plant. Water. Pray.  #static

Introduction of Corder's Theories

Scientist will have you believe they have measured light and at what speed it travels. Simply not true. Light  could not be measured unless you have all the information. Scientist do not have all the information. If I am going to measure how fast an apple is falling from a tree on planet earth I can measure more or less to a certain degree. But there is no absolute. Depending where I am on planet earth in regards to latitude, longitude, altitude, moisture in the surrounding air,  dust particles, where the moon is located, the shift of the oceans, the amount of supercells congregated in the area being measured (as well as the compression of the supercells depending on temperature) temperature of all the above listed variables, the amount of vacuum, or air being redistributed as the apple falls. The concentration of the gaseous elements because air is not just one element. The amount of static electricity in the air. Whether it is clockwise or counterclockwise or positive or negative (in regards to the static electric charge) and then dealing with the micro scale. If we deal with all the above listed variables just at a cellular level, meaning just cells then we have to consider all the unknowns. We classify "big clumps of moisture laden air" as super cells. Then we can monitor the cellular level with a microscope. So let's call this micro-cellular. Which I'm just making up because scientist can't truly classify past sub-atomic particles. Well then we have to also bring in the infinite effect. Which you will not find in your science books. It's another theory of mine. So now..... Let's deal with the unknowns. Let's take in consideration what we have surrounding the earth just past the last layer we describe as atmosphere at the very edge of space. What is it? This blackness that is void and without form. That scientist will attribute with the classification baryogenesis. Funny right!? A scientific term that contains the first book of the bible... That is essentially saying how all scientist don't know what the hell they are talking about. By definition....baryogenesis is scientists weak admission of we don't really know what the hell we are talking about. It's real simple if you have unknowns in any equation it's unsolvable. Well if you have the ability to contain all the information in the world and how it was constructed with unrefutable evidence then print that in the science books as facts. If not go ahead and maintain that label theory. Such as the theory of evolution which is the biggest bunch of horse shit I've ever read. Monkeys would still be popping out humans occasionally if this were true or monkeys would no longer exists. Or we would have tails or at least thumbs on our feet. Just throwing a bunch of time at any subject and then calculating statistically what we guess to be the potential outcome has to be labeled as just that a guess. Not a law. Laws are man made. Which means each and every law you know is still a guess. Laws of thermodynamics law of gravity. Such arrogance for a man to create a law for something he did not create but only somewhat observe.  But I digress I'm way out on a tangent. Light speed. If we look collectively at what we can calculate with all our knowns listed above what happens if I say light is static. That when you go out and look at the stars and sun that you are not looking at the past. That light does not have a speed. That if we were actually able to travel at light speed time would actually stop. Why? Because that corresponds with my theory on infinite effect where time does not exist. Which is eternity. Our minds can't wrap around this because all around us we measuring time. Something that does not exist. Makes you wonder what other "time" we are wasting focusing on things that don't exist....Like money. So light speed.... No such thing. Ask me how I know all this!? Because God whispers in the ears of his kings.......#static